home again, home again, jiggity jig....

So I finally got to go home again this past week. It was so nice to be there. I haven't been there sense Christmas. That's too long! I had a wonderful week with my friends and family. But it wasn't as good as it could have been. I missed David so very much. The hardest part was when it was time to go to bed. I stayed up too late every night because I didn't want to go to bed alone. That was for sure the worst part of going home......But speaking of home....we will both be there very soon together! We will be moving home this summer! David will be moving home at the first of May. He is starting a new job in Allen on May 5th! As exciting as that is.....I won't be home until June 6th! That is a whole month of sleeping alone! A whole month of my crappy job and my stressful days without my husband to lean on once I get home. I think this is going to be the hardest month I have had in a long time. But again, soooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to be moving home!! I went to the Richardson ISD job fair this past Saturday while I was home, and heard some positive news about positions open. Which would be great because RISD is where I worked before! The plans for the next two weeks....PPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! There is so much to do and I know I'll be doing a lot of it alone. Which actually works really well because then I'll know what is in every box! I actually love packing. It's a great way to weed out all the things you really don't need. Then because of this weeding we will be having a garage sale at my dad's house in the middle of June! Yay for extra money! Yay for moving home! Yay for a positive job fair! Yay for Jennifer and Derek having a baby boy! I can't wait until he is born....this was part of the reason I went home....to go to Jenn's shower. Yay to us hopefully buying a house by the end of the year! I am so excited to see what the rest of 2009 has in store for us! New Orleans has been good to us, but now it is time for us to go back to Texas!

And this is what he wrote......

I have actually tried my best to keep away from this post. I understand that I actually pushed Natalie into begining this blog and now I'm shying away from it. Its not so much the Blog itself but this specific post itself. I'm going to talk about an issue I encountered this past week. I have been dealing with an issue that was left for me from a prior person. A completely competent person who can do amazing things has been past over. Now my position is not to say weather what happened was fare or not. My position is I know just how he feels. I myself have been through what he has gone through. I take the kind of person I am perceived to be very personally. This issue broke me in half. This same day I decided to tackle a family issue. To keep my family issues private all I will say is a family member started a phase of his life this past week that only a few American citizens ever have to deal with. As though this ton of metaphoric bricks was not enough another family member told me that she was battling Cancer yet again. You would be suprised at how she tried to comfort me during her time of need. I felt so selfish, self-centered, and childish because I couldnt hold back the tears to show her comfort when she probably needed it the most. During the past few years of being an adult I have learned the power of prayer. I try my best never to ask for much but if you can keep these people in your prayers or even a moment of your thoughts it would be greatly appretiated. Like my mother and father I tend to internalize everything. Some people say that this is not what I should do and let things go. But it is that internalization that makes me who I am. It is my fear of false perception that gives me the urge and will to make what you think of me a better image. In my life I know that can only accomplish what God has planned. But in my mind those limmits are almost invisible.

I am so happy to go home. I get to see my mom and dad. I get to be more near my sister and grandparents. I have the opportunity to begin building a family and hopefully by the grace of God a new home. I get to see old friends and possibly make some new ones. I feel that the goals that I set forth in my career are finally come to light. But with this vision of mine coming to fruishion I refuse to over look or forget the fact that so many people still need help. I am commiting myself in front of all who read this blog to the following life goal:

I want to help as many people as I can. Even if help is in the form of being a friend, a shoulder, an ear, or just a person who is willing to comit a selfless act for random people. I'm not holly'er than though. I'm not good, great, or perfect. I'm flawed, I'm Scared, and I want to be a person who looks back on his life and knows that he tried. When I die I would like for nothing else than to have someone say "I'm proud of him" or "I was proud to know him." There are so many men that I have met that I was proud to know after a casual converation. And I said those words. Perhaps all some people need is a casual conversation to feel complete. I want to commit myself to try this for the rest of my life. I leave thos comments to say this. There is a man by the name of Dale who is a Co-Employee of mine who does not live in Louisiana. He is amazing and just recently has found that he has Cancer. He was given 6 to 9 months to live. I wrote him via a web site his hospital has up. Even if you only take 30 seconds after reading this blog to give him a thought it would mean the world to him. He is battling this Cancer with no family. He has two daughters and an X-wife who are not with him.

All these things have happened in the last week and all I can think about is the fact that I get to go home. Though this should be one of the happiest moments of my life I have to stop and remember that some people are doing it alone. Its hard to sleep when Natalie is not here I cant imagine going through cancer alone. I guess Ill sign off before I start to cry...but thank you for all the well wish's and congratulations that everyone has sent. I will ask one last time in lu of my new found journey to give a moment of prayer and or thought to soemone who may need it more than we do.

I leave you this video that I love to watch. For those whom have never heard the voice of a poet so strong and pointiant you can never feel true power. I write poetry in my mind on a daily basis and perhaps I will one day place a stanza or two...but until then watch the video so that you can hear what he see's through his words...and it will be then that the word Freedom takes on a whole new meaning...enjoy!